I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
