So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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