You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
