you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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