i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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