you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Randomize
