My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize