if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
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To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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