Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
