video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
