I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
