Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Let the clothes fall where they may.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
