Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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