I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize