He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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