remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
