What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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