Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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