I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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