Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
