ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
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