dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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