i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
