So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
