All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
