It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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