We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
