I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
