We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
