I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
pray to the hookup gods
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
