the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
