The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
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