I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
