shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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