i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
