I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
