but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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