Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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