ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
