We named our party play list daddy issues
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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