There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
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my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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