Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
