it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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