Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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