my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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