i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
