dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
