I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
