His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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