I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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