Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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