CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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