I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just invented taco cereal.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
