my vag is so smooth its legendary
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize