Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
