last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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