Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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