I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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