awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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