Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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